Fix You
by SVUCSIWTRDOOLluver
Summary: Extreme angst, major character death story, based off the song by Coldplay. What would happen if the team lost one of the most important members? How is Gibbs going to take it? Complete!
1. Try Your Best But You Don't Succeed

New NCIS fic! This is set in the latest season; and I began to think what would happen to the team if something happened to Abby when she got back from Mexico? And NOT Montezuma's Revenge, either, ha-ha. Very sad story, I'm warning you. Enjoy!

"McGoo! Where are you and Abby? Your flight landed three hours ago!" Tony barked into his cell phone as he lounged back in his chair.

"I'm at the hospital, Tony, I was trying to call Gibbs." McGee's strained voice said, and Tony sat bolt upright.

"What happened?" He demanded quietly, any trace of teasing long gone.

"Some guy was running around the airport, and Abby got shot. The doctor, Tony the doctor told me she's not going to make it." McGee's voice broke, and Tony's breathing stopped for a moment.

"Good Lord, what's wrong with DiNozzo?" Ducky's brisk voice said as he walked into the squadroom. Tony slowly closed his cell phone, and Gibbs was suddenly standing right next to him.

"What happened, Tony?" Gibbs asked with quiet urgency, and Tony looked up at him with shocked eyes.

"Abby, McGee said she got shot at the airport." That was all Gibbs needed to hear as he sprinted for the elevators, Ziva, Ducky and Tony right behind him.

"What else did McGee say, Tony?" Ziva asked quietly, and Tony breathed,

"The doctor told McGee she wasn't going to make it."

"She will." Gibbs said abruptly as the doors slid open, and Gibbs vanished, already halfway to the front door.

"McGee!" Gibbs barked, striding down the hallway to where McGee was sitting. He just looked up and was barely able to say,

"She's still in surgery."

"I'll see what I can find out, Jethro," Ducky said quietly, slipping past the group and towards the doctors standing in the hallway. Tony and Ziva slowly sat in chairs next to McGee, and Gibbs started pacing the hallway.

He could still see Abby's face when she thought she had failed Tony. Sitting in that chair of hers, she was so anxious and blaming herself when he had walked in. Rubbing her shoulders was the least he could do to help her understand that she was not to blame.

_When you try your best, but you don't succeed_

Ziva looked over at Tony, and she could see the barely-masked worry covering his face like a mask. She could still feel the way his face felt when she had kissed his cheek, and she closed her eyes, remembering when she had hated him with a passion for killing Michael. Now she understood; Michael was what she wanted, but not what she needed. She needed the man sitting next to her.

_When you get what you want, but not what you need_

Tony could still see the big explosion if he closed his eyes and let his mind wander. The sheer terror he felt at that moment felt like something close to what he was feeling at that very moment. He knew Gibbs had been inside, and when he discovered how serious Gibbs' condition was, he hadn't slept for days. Just like this very moment, when he knew he was bone-tired, but there was no way he was falling asleep.

_When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep_

There were so many times when Abby had been in danger. When Chip, the assistant that no one knew was crazy went after her with a knife, Gibbs slapped himself on the back of the head that night, for not knowing Abby was in danger sooner, if not in the first place. He kept replaying that moment in his head for a week afterward, trying to figure out if he missed something, and when he thought of it backwards, it made the memory even more frightening, simply for the reason that one wrong move on Abby's part and she would be dead now, not fighting for her life.

_Stuck in reverse_

Ziva glanced over at Gibbs, seeing him stop pacing and just look towards the ER doors with a torturous expression on his face. She could still remember desperately trying to get him to remember after the explosion, and making him slap the back of her head. She told him about Ari, reliving it all over again. It was much worse actually saying the words; that made it all the more true and all the more heart-wrenching. The sobs had slipped through, and the tears poured down her cheeks as Gibbs held her tightly.

_And the tears come streaming down your face_

Gibbs knew the whole team knew about Shannon and Kelly. He never told them, but after the whole amnesia thing, they all knew. But Abby was the only one he ever really told, besides Ducky. He could still remember the look on her face, part horror, part sad, part angry and part compassion. There was never any pity in her eyes, only compassion and when she said she was sorry for his loss, he knew she actually meant it, unlike the few at Shannon and Kelly's funeral. Those two were two people he always thought about, out of the three.

_When you lose something you can't replace_

Tony slowly scrubbed his face with his hands, taking a deep breath as he saw Jeanne's face swim into his tangled thoughts. Her face when the elevator doors closed was one of the most heartbreaking things he had ever seen. When he told her that their relationship wasn't real, it was the most flat-out lie he had ever told, and gotten away with it. He knew Jeanne wanted to believe it wasn't real, so it wouldn't seem so much like a breakup than a betrayal. Tony had really loved her, and he always would. But he would move on, or at least try to move on.

_When you love someone, but it goes to waste_

He almost let out a small groan. When Jeanne had left, he thought it couldn't get any worse. Then he remembered when Kate died, and how he thought it couldn't get any worse. But then Jenny died, and he thought the same thing. Now Abby. All of those bad things seemed to just be piling up, and he knew this time, it really couldn't get any worse. Kate was gone. Jenny was gone. Jeanne left. And Abby could be following them. Tears built up in his eyes as he knew he couldn't let that happen. He couldn't take it.

_Could it be worse?  
_

Gibbs could remember walking through the elevator doors, still in his blue hospital clothes, with Ziva at his side. He mixed up Tony and McGee's names, but just as a test. He knew the difference between the two; you couldn't really get any more different than them. Gibbs knew Abby was somewhere, but she really did take him by slight surprise when she suddenly came bounding around the corner, throwing her arms around him. When he started tumbling backwards, a grin split his face. Yeah, he was definitely home.

But how was he to know that that home wouldn't feel like home within an hour? When that explosion happened right in front of his eyes, he felt like he didn't belong anywhere. He was no help; there were thousands of lives that were lost. But Abby's look as he kissed her goodbye, that was almost enough to get him to change his mind. He was home, but it was time to leave that home. At least he came to his senses later and finally stayed at NCIS, with Abby, Ducky, and his team.

_Lights will guide you home  
And ignite your bones  
And I will try to fix you_

End of chapter 1! There's two more chapters left to go, and btw, the song is "Fix You" by Coldplay, even though I know there's an a cappela version out there by a group whose name escapes me, sorry! Thanks so much for reading, and I hope you enjoyed! Adios for now!


	2. Lose Something You Can't Replace

Chapter 2 is up! More memories in this chapter, but also we get to the very, very sad part. I nearly cried while writing this, and I'm sorry if I make you cry! But enjoy!

McGee sighed, remembering how he had been saddened to learn that Abby was not interested in dating him again, but he was okay with just being good friends with her. With a grimace he remembered the downs in the relationship, like when he had asked where their relationship was going, and Abby said he was insecure. But there were many highs that he smiled at, like her hugs around his neck from behind. He loved Abby; there was no way she could die. Not like Kate; not like Jenny.

_And high up above or down below_

Tony's fists clenched when he thought of Mikel Mawher. He had tried to kill Abby more than once, and then almost got her killed because of his stupidity. Tony also blamed himself for that one; NCIS had focused on Mikel, not knowing a more dangerous man was out there trying to kill Abby. He understood why Mikel was too in love with Abby to let it go, but there was a certain point that a sane person would reach and understand that it was time to move on. Obviously Mikel was not sane, otherwise he would've known that he should've stepped back before Leroy Jethro Gibbs and his team got involved.

_When you're too in love to let it go_

Ziva looked over at McGee, and then leaned back, closing her eyes. She half-smiled when she thought of Abby's face a few days before, when Ziva allowed her to help her dress Ziva for her first and tentative date with Tony. In fact, Ziva didn't know if it was a date or not, since they were just going to a bar to watch a sports game and have a few drinks. Abby automatically told her that she was considering it a date, and therefore would need to help Ziva with her wardrobe. Ziva had let her, and Abby was ecstatic at Ziva's apartment, going through her drawers and closet, tossing out clothes she thought suitable and muttering at the ones she didn't. It was very amusing to watch, and Ziva had laughed at the time.

_But if you never try you'll never know_

Ducky slowly walked back to the waiting room, not able to discover anything about his Abigail's condition. With a groan, he lowered himself into a chair next to Gibbs. Ducky shook his head at Gibbs, letting him know that he didn't find anything out. Gibbs got up and started pacing again, and Ducky let his mind wander to the many occasions where Abby had made him laugh. For instance, when she was rollerblades, gliding around the NCIS building, when she thought she was in her own lab but really she was in autopsy, when she attempted to overcome her autopsy fear by sleeping on a table in autopsy, and many more. She was a happy Goth, something that Ducky found very refreshing.

_Just what you're worth_

Tony looked over at McGee, and remembered how many times he had considered Tim to be his half-brother, at least. He had saved Tony from falling off of that parking structure, and had come to get him when Tony had been released from prison. Tony had tried to help McGee, one way by coming to his apartment the night he was accused of not identifying himself and shooting an undercover cop making a drug bust, even though it had turned out later that McGee had been right. Sure, the two of them had been in more fights than anyone could count, especially on stakeouts, but it made them a good team.

_Lights will guide you home  
And ignite your bones  
And I will try to fix you  
_

Hours passed, and finally the doctor came out, stripping off his bloodied scrubs. Everyone seemed to hold their breath, knowing all of that blood was Abby's. The doctor walked up to them, and said, "Family of Miss Sciuto?"

"That's us." Tony stated, standing up along with Gibbs, Ziva, McGee and Ducky. The doctor didn't question them as he said,

"I'm sorry, but Miss Sciuto didn't make it. I warned Agent McGee that it was a dangerous wound, and she bled out on the table about a half hour ago…" The rest of the doctor's words fell on deaf ears, as all five of them froze.

Ziva was the first to react, a sob breaking through her tortured façade. She covered her mouth with her hands, and Tony pulled her into a hug, tears slipping down his cheeks. McGee just looked like a confused, lost puppy dog. Tony held out his other arm, and Ziva pulled him into the hug, still sobbing.

"Not Abby…" Tony mumbled, and Ducky could feel the tears streaming down his face.

"Jethro," Ducky said bleakly, and when Gibbs looked at him, he said, "I, I can't do the, the autopsy, I just can't,"

"It's alright, Duck. You don't have to." He said hollowly, and strode into the ER, just going on instinct to find the room where Abby's body was lying.

_Tears stream down on your face  
When you lose something you cannot replace_

He finally found it, and when he barged into the room, he saw a white sheet covering a body. Gibbs stopped short and sucked in a breath of air, struggling to hold his tears back. Slowly he made his feet move until he was standing right next to the bed.

Carefully he reached out and took a hold of her hand. He could see the tattoos on her fingers, and he knew this was Abby, not some random person. His hands shook as he collapsed onto the chair that he had pulled from across the room.

"You said I couldn't replace Shannon and Kelly with my ex-wives, Abby, but I can't replace you either." He whispered, and bowed his head, letting the misery and horror and agony take over in the form of tears and sobs.

_Tears stream down on your face  
And on your face I..._

An hour passed before Gibbs walked out of Abby's room, his eyes fiery and furious. He saw his team all sitting in the chairs, looking completely lost, and the fire was doused for a moment as Gibbs hesitated, and then walked up to McGee. "Where's the man who shot her, Tim?"

"Uh, Metro took him into custody." He said dully, and Gibbs nodded, starting towards the doors.

"We're going with you, boss," Tony said, standing up and still holding Ziva's hand. Gibbs looked at him, and nodded, striding away.

Within a half hour, they were at Metro's lockup, and heard alarms blaring. They got out to see a man running, being chased by a few cops. "Boss, that's the guy," McGee breathed, and all four of them took off after the guy, their guns out.

As if on cue, the four agents raised their guns, took aim and fired twice or three times each. Every single bullet pierced the man's skin, a few in the back, the legs, the head and a few in the arms.

Tony, Ziva and McGee kept running to secure the man with Metro, but Gibbs slowed down and stood there, his gun slack in his hand. He thought taking down the man who had murdered his Abby would bring him some sort of peace, but he should've known better. Killing Pedro Hernandez hadn't helped his grief then, why should killing this piece of trash help his grief now?

A Metro cop came to take his statement and his gun, and he gave both to them without any emotion. And when he went home that night and worked furiously on his new boat, with his two bottles of bourbon, his emotions poured out, in the form of tears, cursing and bellowing Abby's name out in pure misery.

Abby's funeral was a few days later. Those few days were filled of no Gibbs, red eyes on everyone and many people offering their condolences to the team. Ducky was withdrawn, with no more stories. McGee never spoke geek anymore, just a straight up explanation if needed. Tony, well, he was just a lot worse than when Kate died, or when Jenny died, or when Jeanne left. He kept muttering, "It can't get any worse."

The day of Abby's funeral dawned sunny, but many white clouds. It was as if the weather didn't know there was a funeral that day. Gibbs was lying on his bed as the sun rose, the only difference between night and day, as sleep never came. Abby was always in his thoughts, and he could almost feel the hugs she gave him.

His face screwed up and he could feel the hot tears streaming down his face. There was only one other time he felt the way he felt now, when he had shot and killed the bastard who killed Shannon and Kelly. He managed to get to his feet and he stumbled down to his basement, blindly grabbing his gun.

Gibbs wondered why it had taken him that long. He sat there on his half-built boat, the gun's barrel aiming at his face. Sure, he'd had guns in his face before, but this time it was different. It felt like he was back on that beach, sitting on the rocks, a different gun aimed in his face.

Well, slight cliff-hanger there! Only one more chapter to go, and please don't hate me for writing this! I was listening to Fix You, and I kept wondering what would happen to the team if they lost Abby, and this fic was born. Thanks so much for reading, and adios for now!


	3. I Will Learn From My Mistakes

Chapter 3 and last chapter is up! Time to resolve the cliff-hanger, and I promise I won't put you through any more loss. I tried to make a slightly happy ending, but I don't know if it worked out. Thanks for reading, and enjoy!

A sharp pain struck the back of his head, and he almost thought he shot himself. "What the hell are you doing, Gibbs?" An angry voice came to his ears, and he looked up to see his senior field agent standing there, tear tracks on his cheeks and a burning fury in his eyes. "What would Abby say to you if she found you here?"

"She won't, because she's dead, DiNozzo," Gibbs said miserably, standing up and facing Tony.

"Yeah, I know. But don't you think she's up there, staring down at you and ready to kill you with an untraceable poison?" Tony demanded, and Gibbs slowly nodded, the emotions bubbling to the surface again. He looked up and saw the same emotions in Tony's eyes.

Without a word he pulled Tony into a hug, and Tony held stiff for a moment, but then broke down, begging, "How are we gonna go on without her, boss?"

"I, I don't know," Gibbs admitted, and they both heard a thick voice say from the stairs,

"But we will. We will push on, for Abby."

Ziva was standing there, her own held-back tears in her eyes. Tony and Gibbs simultaneously held out an arm for her, and after a moment of hesitation she strode forward into the hug.

_Tears stream down on your face  
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes_

The three team members walked out, after Tony explained to Gibbs that he and Ziva went to pick him up for the funeral, and Tony went into find him. When they didn't come out, Ziva followed. Tony leaned over and said in Gibbs' ear, "Don't you ever pull that stunt again, Gibbs. We've lost one of us already; we don't need to lose another."

Gibbs nodded once, glancing up towards the sky, promising Abby in his thoughts, "I'll learn from that mistake, Abby. I won't do it again."

He could almost see her smile and hear her stern voice saying, "You better not."

McGee, Ducky, Leon, Palmer and everyone else from NCIS were already at the burial site. The nuns Abby bowled with were standing by a tree, and Gibbs could see a few people that Abby had helped in the past, like Carson, his mom and his dad. Even Mike Franks was there. A soft smile grew on his face when he saw his father standing next to McGee.

"Leroy," Jackson said, striding forward and hugging his son.

"Dad," Gibbs replied, embracing Jackson tightly and then stepping back as he saw the priest get up and start over to Abby's coffin. The tears threatened again, wishing like hell that Abby was just sleeping in that coffin, not her cold body lying dead in it. They had decided to have the funeral outside, at the burial site. Abby was stuck in her lab all day, but she loved to get outside when she could, especially with a lot of sunscreen.

As the priest began to speak, Gibbs and the rest of the team got in a straight line, near Abby's coffin, facing her. Gibbs was on the end, then Tony, Ziva, McGee, Palmer, Ducky and Leon. When the priest called for the eulogy, Gibbs strode forward, the lines he was going to speak burned into his brain.

_Tears stream down on your face  
And on your face I..._

"Abby Sciuto was, and is, the happiest person I have ever met," He began, and glanced over at her casket, continuing, "My first impression of her was that she was your regular Goth, despite her beauty. I learned my lesson; never judge a book by its cover. Abby put her heart and soul into her work, and everyone was affected by her cheerfulness. If you needed a hug, Abby was there. A shoulder to cry on, Abby was there. No matter what, Abby was always there. But now, she will never be there. She loved passionately, and all she asked in return was to be loved back,"

Gibbs' voice broke at that moment, but he took a deep breath and continued on, saying, "When we lost an agent, years ago, Kate Todd, she helped push us all through it. When we lost our Director a few years ago, Abby made us all smile, from clothing references, oddly enough. She's never failed me, not once since I met her. And now, I've failed her." Gibbs looked over at the coffin and said quietly, "I'm sorry, Abby. I love you." With that, he walked back to his spot, and the priest took his place.

"That was very moving and very touching, Agent Gibbs, thank you."

He continued on, and Leon got up to speak, along with a few other people, like one of the nuns. When the priest allowed Abby's casket to be slowly lowered into the ground, Gibbs' eyes were strangely dry. He looked over at everyone, and he could see a tear on everyone's face, including Mike Franks.

The dirt started to be tossed onto the coffin, and slowly people started to leave. The team was surrounded by people offering their condolences, but Gibbs wanted no part in that. He happened to glance over his shoulder, and he did a double take. There was the slightly holographic image of Abby Sciuto, standing there with her pigtails, her dog collar, her spider-web tattoo, her regular clothes and her platform boots.

"Abby?" He breathed, not trusting his mind or his eyes. Slowly he started walking towards her, and when he got close enough, Abby grinned and said,

"Gibbs Gibbs Gibbs!" She ran towards him and threw her arms around his neck. It was a strange feeling, like there was someone there, but a shadow instead of a real person.

"Am I crazy?" He asked, looking at her strangely. Abby laughed, and pulled back, saying,

"Nope. I just came to tell you that I met Shannon, Kelly, Jenny, Kate, even your mom. Of course, my parents were up there too,"

His jaw almost hit the ground, and Abby laughed. "I'm very serious, Gibbs, they're all very happy. I drew pictures with Kelly, and traded stories with Shannon and your mom. Me, Jenny and Kate have had quite a few talks about what's been going on since they died."

"You're here to tell me that?" He said in confusion, and she shook her head.

"No, I'm here to tell you that I love you, that you don't have to be sorry because my death was not your fault, and that you don't have to worry about me. Don't you dare shed another tear for me, or for yourself. Man up, Marine!" She said playfully, and he managed a grin.

_Lights will guide you home  
And ignite your bones  
_

"All right, Abby, no more tears." He agreed, and Abby smiled. She looked over Gibbs' shoulder, and saw Tony, Ziva, McGee and Ducky all looking over at Gibbs curiously. He followed her gaze, and asked, "Can they see you?"

"No. They're moving on, but you weren't, that's why I needed to talk to you." Abby said sadly, and Gibbs blew out a breath.

"I don't want you to leave again, Abby," He admitted quietly, and Abby hugged him again.

"I'm never leaving you, Gibbs, I'm always watching you. I'll be your stalker up there." She chuckled, and Gibbs smiled.

"Keep close, Abbs," He begged, and she drew back with a smile.

"Yes sir." She said, saluting him and then kissed his cheek. He in turn saluted her back, and then said with a grin,

"Don't call me sir."

"Yes ma'am." Abby replied, as she turned and started running. He watched as she ran towards a group of people standing off in the distance. He could barely make out Kate, Jenny, Shannon, Kelly, his mom and Abby's parents. They were all smiling at Abby, and then waved at him.

Gibbs slowly raised a trembling hand to them, and then they all vanished.

"You okay, Boss?" McGee's voice asked from behind him. Gibbs turned around to see the graveyard empty, except for Tony, Ziva, McGee, Ducky, Jackson, Mike Franks and Palmer.

"Yeah, McGee, I'll be okay." He replied, clapping McGee's shoulder. He glanced up and could see Abby smiling at him as he knew he spoke the truth.

A few weeks later, Gibbs stood on the edge of the water, near the outskirts of DC. The sun was slowly setting, with all the beautiful colors streaking the sky. He remembered watched the sunset with Abby dozens of times, and she would always be elated by the colors, no matter what.

The truck driver who had helped him deliver to the water honked, and Gibbs raised a hand in farewell as he turned his head to look at the boat floating in the water. He had finally decided to let one boat sail, and he would use it for his own personal use.

Gibbs climbed aboard the boat, and kneeled near the edge, stroking his hand over the name. "Love you, Abbs," He mumbled, half-smiling as he sailed away on the Abigail.

_And I will try to fix you_

End of the chapter and the story! Thanks so much for reading, and I hope you liked the eulogy that Gibbs gave! Adios!


End file.
